redbirdbrain

Bellyscratcher already posted the awesome (and somewhat embarrassingly emotional, actually) fan video of seat cushion night, but just in case anyone was still interested, I thought I’d link the official fox version, too. What a party! New York seems dull in comparison.

Speaking of dull in comparison, I’ll be missing the next several days to spend the holiday weekend at the beach. Hey, cards fans: Don’t have any seat cushion parties without me!

It’s always entertaining to peruse the search engine terms that have brought readers to my humble blog. In the interest of talking about something other than the eight-game losing streak, I thought I’d say hello to those of you who found me via interesting search results:

• “slacker” - Hi! You sound like someone I’d get along with.
• “What does ditziest mean?” - It means the most scatterbrained, airheaded person around. And yes, sometimes, that person would be me.
• “Bar hoping” - Well, I think you mean bar hopping. Unless you’re referring to tonight, when I will be watching the game at a bar, hoping the Cardinals don’t lose their ninth in a row.
• “KFNS fangirls St. Louis” - I wasn’t even aware that KFNS even HAD fangirls. Care to fill me in here? Anyone?
• “Arangement of curtain”  - Yeah, I’m sorry, you’ve got me. No idea on that one.
• “New York Mets suck slogans” - Is anything beyond “the Mets are pondscum” really necessary?
• “What does ‘My baby does the hanky panky’ mean?” - I’m guessing you found your way here because I mentioned the Minnesota Twins homer hankies one time? In any case, I believe the phrase means exactly what you think it means.
• “St. Louis Cardinal themed cakes” - No idea where you find these. Any bakery, I’m guessing. But whoever you’re researching cardinal cakes for will have a very happy birthday, I’m sure!
• “Tony La Russa cheater” - If Tony is cheating, he’s not doing it very well at the moment, is he?

[Re: the redesign: I TOLD you I’d put up something more team-centric eventually.] 

Well, I was considering putting up a post mocking Cardnilly for never blogging anymore (Lame, dude! Lame!) but then I realized that I never blog any more either, so my pointed wit wouldn’t exactly come through. So why have I been ignoring the Cardinals? Well, I haven’t been ignoring THEM, actually. I’ve just been ignoring YOU. I have had interesting things happen to me, though. 

For example: I went to the beach a few weeks ago, and spent mucho time at a Tiki bar drinking Daiquiris. The highlight of the weekend? On one of my trips back to the bar to get a refill, some guy notices my ballcap, taps me on the shoulder, and hits me with the best pickup line EVER: “Excuse me, are you a Cardinals fan?”  

You should have seen my smile. Mucho “Where did you go to high school” and “Which Cardinal is the wallpaper on your cell phone” and “Do you know what today’s score is?” questions later, he got my number and we’d decided to watch a game together. 

… And that’s the whole story, actually. If you were hoping that I was actually going to go anywhere with that story, you probably don’t know me very well (our plans to meet up fell through; I decided the guy was an idiot – you know, the usual schtick).  

But it just goes to show that the perfect pickup line does, in fact, exist. 

I know what you’re thinking. “Uh, dude, what does this have to do with the Cardinals? Why are you annoying us with dating stories?” You’re right. I apologize. Instead I’ll talk about the Cards losing six in a row, and Mulder stinking up the joint, and Izzy blowing saves yet again, and the team’s sudden failure to make a timely hit, and…  

Oh, what’s that? You want to hear the flirting stories after all? 

All righty then. So this weekend I go off to Detroit to watch the Birds play the Tigers. Bet and her friend bought themselves seats for Saturday’s game before they knew I’d join them, so my big plan was to join my friend Michelle, who had to make a quick stop at a wedding before meeting me at the game. So I went off to the bar across the street (I chose Cheli’s as their logo looks somewhat like the Birds on the Bat – yes, this is the way my brain works).  

Two Tigers fans walk up to me and ask me why I’m by myself. I explain that my friend is on her way, as soon as she can escape from this wedding. They immediately start mocking me for ever thinking that Michelle would leave her friend’s wedding to go to a ballgame. “I got news for you, kid. She ain’t coming.” 

Of course, this was nonsense. But the second inning was already starting, so I bought myself an SRO ticket and sat with the fellas in their bleacher seats until Michelle came along. (She kept sending me text messages about how she was going to leave in a few minutes, although I think she got considerably less worried about leaving the wedding once I texted her that I was in the ballpark and watching the game, and told her should enjoy herself with the free alcohol. Naturally, she decided this meant she didn’t have to show up at all. Geez, good thing I didn’t wait outside for her, right?) 

All the fun, flirtation and frolic came to a crashing end in the ninth inning, when Izzy blew another save (GOOD GRIEF, MAN! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?). And the fun people surrounding me took the opportunity to relentlessly heckle the poor, sweet Cardinals fan nearby. Including my friendly bar guys! (Seriously, even this 70-year old guy in front of me was harassing me! What did I ever do to him?) I decided to become St. Julia, The Put-Upon and abandon my merry mood for a hurt, dejected one.  

Which is considerably less conducive to flirtation, as you can imagine. So… that was pretty much that, as far as Saturday night went (dude, two stories in a ROW with lame endings – sorry, people).  If I think of an exciting story about Sunday’s game, you can bet that it will be here. I’m having a hard time writing about Sunday without getting very cranky, so I don’t know if I’ll manage it.